Rule 2: You Set the Rules
When you’re figuring out the ins and outs of how to have an affair, it’s important to realize that you’re the one that needs to set the rules. This isn’t because you need to be in control of a woman, or that you’re a huge jerk. The reason for this is ultimately that you’re the one with a timeframe in mind, and she probably doesn’t have anything close to that.
These are the rules that will keep you safe.
When we were talking about being discreet earlier, we mean it. Staying discreet is the kind of thing that is going to keep you from ending up caught, and if you set the rules early on in your relationship with your mistress, it’s going to make things that much easier for both you and her.
Any affair site that is good will give you the opportunity to actually chat with your potential date well beforehand. You’ll actually be able to chat with her about what you think is appropriate in your upcoming relationship, and what she expects out of it, also. You should definitely listen to her opinions, but at the end of the day, you need to remember that it’s your marriage that’s on the line. Getting swept up into her rules is a mistake that many men make, and ultimately, end up losing their marriages over.
You have way more at risk.
If she starts wondering why you need to be the one setting all of the rules, it’s really just best to be blunt with her. She’ll understand if you tell her that you’re married, and that you still need to be able to preserve that marriage. If she doesn’t understand this simple fact, then she’s obviously not the kind of woman that you need to end up having an affair with.
It’s best to check out a lot of affair site ratings before jumping into a site just because it has a ton of ladies on it. The right community will ultimately make it that much easier to find the right women to have your affairs with, and once you’re in the right place, these kinds of conversations will end up going that much more smoothly for you.
Don’t let her call the shots.
While it’s find to let her suggest a place for dinner or a hotel for meeting up, any and all timeframe related issues should be centered around you. This isn’t something that is selfish on your part; she should know that you’re having an affair, and that she is secondary to your actual marriage. Keeping things on a strict timeline is ultimately protecting not only you, but her as well.
By having these rules, you’re making it that much harder for you to end up being caught. She isn’t going to want to end up caught by your wife, either, and that’s something that she should understand whenever you put your foot down about certain activities, or certain dates that you just don’t think will end up working out between the two of you.
You don’t have to be a jerk about it.
We understand that we’re talking a lot about being firm and putting your foot down and generally controlling certain aspects of your affair. That being said, you don’t have to be rude or a jerk about it. There’s no need to act like a task master when faced with important decisions like this; it’s just a matter of very gently, but very firmly making it clear that this is how it has to be.
This is why it’s so important to be able to talk openly with the woman that you’re meeting up with. By doing so, you’re ultimately setting yourself up for success. You just need to be able to tell her what exactly it is that you want out of your relationship, and how long it will be able to last. Doing this will make both of you that much happier in the long run, because there won’t be any broken expectations, and you won’t be stressed by a timeline that you simply don’t feel comfortable with.
Just don’t be a jerk.
Women don’t respond to jerks or assholes. They want a man that is confident and knows what he wants, sure, but they don’t want a man that’s just going to treat them like dirt whenever he’s trying to convince them to do something his way and his way alone.
Whenever you bring up these timelines, just be polite, and make it into a casual conversation. It can even be done over dinner if you fear it will be too much of a disconnect to discuss online. No matter what, she needs to know that you are keeping your affair short and sweet, and that’s just the way that it needs to end up being.
If she acts too clingy from the start, don’t bother.
There’s no need to waste your time or energy with a woman that just wants to cling to you from the very start. That’s not what you want out of an affair, and that’s not something that is going to be good for your marriage at all, either.
Keep this sort of thing in mind whenever you’re meeting up with women for the first time. If they already show blatant disrespect for the rules of your affair, then you need to really take a step back and just distance yourself immediately.
These are the kinds of these that will protect you, and you can’t forget that. Be safe, and have fun.