Rule 3: Keep Clear Boundaries
Clear boundaries are, ultimately, the things that are going to keep you from getting caught. If you want to learn how to have an affair without getting caught, boundaries are one of the best things that you can learn, because they will cover your back in every single instance. You’ll be able to protect yourself, and ultimately, you’ll be able to protect your marriage in every single way so long as you set up the right boundaries beforehand.
Define your boundaries early.
The moment that you have a potential date, you need to speak to her about the boundaries that you’d like to have in place. By doing this, you’re eliminating any and all issues right from the get-go. If she disagrees with any of the boundaries that you are setting, then you will know that she isn’t worth any amount of your time.
This is one of the most important aspects of learning how to have an affair. If you don’t know when to walk away, then you’ll never end up being successful when it comes to having the affair that you want to have. Some women really just aren’t meant to have affairs with married men, as they’ll end up getting too clingy, and that’s exactly what you’re going to want to avoid.
Be firm with your rules.
Again, this isn’t a matter of being a jerk. She needs to understand that this is all a part of the affair itself, and that your marriage is something that you value first and foremost. If she ends up breaking your rules, you need to figure out if she’s really worth keeping around, or if you need to just go ahead and break off the relationship before she does it again.
It isn’t just a matter of knowing how to cheat and how to find the right woman in this case. It’s a matter of respect on her end. For example, if you specifically ask her not to call your home and she does it anyway, then you really need to decide if you want to give her a second chance or not. There’s a good chance that it could happen again, and that means that you’re just going to end up with a liability that just ends up complicating things for you again and again.
Keep her away from your friends.
This is why we highly suggest that you always keep your affairs out of the family, and away from your workplace. If your mistress knows any part of your friends, family, or coworkers, that’s just going to make things more complicated for you, and make it much less likely that you can stay hidden.
Hopefully, she’s just someone new and random that you’ve met online, and that’s why it’s important that you tell her to stay away from your friends and not to associate with them. The moment that she ends up being buddy-buddy with different aspects of your ‘normal’ life is the moment that she ends up being a part of it…and also, it’s the moment that your wife ends up finding out about her.
Keep her separate at all costs.
This might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s extremely important. Under no circumstances should she end up meeting you at work or after any sort of dinners. She shouldn’t even be able to come to your home at all, and that includes when your wife isn’t home. If you never invite her, it’s going to be much easier to keep this sort of rule in place with her later on.
If you have kids, make sure that she doesn’t interact with them. They aren’t going to understand that she’s not someone that they need to avoid talking about with your wife, and that’s just going to make things much more complicated for you, and really make you start to sweat the moment that she’s brought up into conversation.
All in all, just keep her at an arm’s length.
It’s an affair, not a whirlwind romance. This is something that you always need to keep in mind whenever you’re using affair sites for dating. These are not women that you want to fall in love with, as you’re already happily married and that’s not something that you want to throw to the curb. These are women that are fun for brief flings, and that means that the affairs you have with them need to be simple, short, and nothing but light fun.
With that in mind, if you can keep her at an arm’s length, that’s much, much better than really letting her get underneath your skin. It really doesn’t matter how hot she is or how much she can relate to your current life; if she ends up getting too close to you, you’re going to end up sacrificing the life that you already have, and that isn’t something that you’re going to want.
Just be careful.
No matter what boundaries you put into place, you really have to make sure that you monitor her carefully and make sure that she’s following them. It’s up to you to decide what kind of restrictions you have in your affairs, and if she ends up breaking those, then you need to figure out what is fair to do with your relationship at hand.
Use your judgment. If it sounds like a bad idea, it most likely is. This means that you’ll need to just constantly reevaluate the conversation, and come to conclusions that are based on your own situation. Good luck either way with the state of your affair.