It’s no mistake that a lot of men have no idea how to say things without angering women. Most of us like to be straight to the point about our needs and desires, but this can sometimes offend women. When you want to tell a woman what you want, it is important that you not only focus on what you say, but how you say it.
You and I
One thing that men have been missing up for years is how they direct blame. When a woman isn’t doing something that you want, you may start out phrases with, “You don’t…” or “You can’t…” or “You’re not really good at…” These are terrible ways to complain about things to her because it lowers her self-esteem and makes her feel bad about herself. The chances are that it will also make her angry. Instead of beginning your conversation with her, try reversing it so that you’re putting the blame on yourself. For example, you can begin your statement with, “I don’t really like…” or “It doesn’t feel as good to me when…” These types of statements are better because they are not directly blaming her.
When you want to try something new, instead of complaining that you always do the same things, try beginning with, “Why don’t we try…” or “I have a fun idea…” or “What do you think about…” These will give her a chance to participate in deciding what the two of you will do next, and she won’t feel like she is being totally controlled by you and your desires. You can also ask her things that she is interested in and see if any of you share any common interests, kinks, or fetishes.
Ask Her Questions
If you’re a fan of dirty talk and she isn’t, you can still get her to participate. All you have to do is ask her questions about what she’s going to do to you. In fact, when you communicate with her this way, she’ll probably enjoy dirty talking a lot more than you thought she would. For example, when she’s about to go down on you, ask her what she’s going to do to you. She may not answer at first, but don’t worry about it. Make sure you’re encouraging her while she’s doing her thing, but try not to be too raunchy. Try to say things like she’s amazing, or she’s perfect, or she’s beautiful. This will give her the courage to want to respond back to you rather than saying something too sexual.
You want to also make sure that you learn to read the mood. If she’s in the mood for something sensual, don’t try to be overly kinky and perverted. Ask her what she wants you to do to her and then respond accordingly.